A Constellation of Minor Bears / Jen Ferguson / Book Review

A CONSTELLATION OF MINOR BEARS

This summer was supposed to be the start of the rest of their lives, a grand kick-off to their bright futures. This summer was supposed to be about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, accomplishing something incredible, and doing it together. But that was before the accident.

In the wake of that awful Saturday, everything is different. Molly, Hank, and Tray used to be inseparable. But now Hank is wrestling with a traumatic brain injury that's upended his life. Tray is wrestling with the guilt of being there, on belay, when the accident happened. And Molly is wrestling with the fact that she wasn't there at all, even when she should have been. These days, they barely speak at all.

Yet Molly's still determined to go on their hike, even if it means hiking solo. But her parents don't trust her on the trail alone. Which is how she finds herself boarding a plane with Traylor, a boy she hasn't been able to look in the eye for months--not without causing an argument, anyway. And they've got many miles to go.

THOUGHTS

I adored this book! I didn't know it was what I needed this year, but it absolutely is. It is grounded and lovely, a buffer against the hard realities it reckons with. It's a beautiful coming-of-age story.

PROS

Hard Trekking	Jen Ferguson doesn't beat around the bush when it comes to presenting the actual challenges of doing a through-hike this like. It's hard to be on the trail, to walk so many miles and over such difficult terrain. It's hard, too, to keep yourself alive. Finding water in these mountains isn't a sure thing. Bruised toes and damaged muscles from the hike are inevitable. And menstrual cycles don't stop just because you're hiking. This is hard trekking, and even if it is a profound accomplishment to reach the end (wherever that end might be), it scrapes and scars along the way.
(Re)Found Family	There is a quote somewhere in this book that I neglected to jot down in full, though I captured the sentiment: relationships are about trying every day. And that's the conflict at the center of this book. These friends are close, and grief has driven them apart. They're reckoning with who they are in the aftermath and how they fit back together. This book feels very found-family in the way these friends come back together, bond again in new ways, and also how they collect new people along the trail. It is a book full of profound little intimacies and the struggle to keep friendships together, to grow and change alongside each other--to make room for who and what they each might become.
Moving On	This book contains a really nuanced conversation about grief, specifically grief for a future that will never happen. That kind of nuanced conversation is very important, especially younger people, in a post-2020 world, where what should be possible has shifted so profoundly. A lot of dreams and goals have had to change in new, unprecedented ways. Molly feels guilt and grief for what happened, what could have happened, and she feels guilty for feeling these feelings, too. Because she hasn't lost her brother. Because her brother is still here, but different. And her own future is still in front of her, but maybe she doesn't want to move on unchanged. She's grieving the memories she thought they would make, the plans they had together, and a future she doesn't know if she wants anymore.

CONS

These characters are all very young, just on the verge of adulthood, and yet the way they reckon with the world and their complex feelings feels very... old. Which I think makes for profoundly beautiful writing, but at the same time, I'm not sure it really fits characters so young. I wouldn't want it any other way, but this still proves a bit of a knock against the realism of this book.	Old Souls
It's been a long time since I've felt so much anxiety reading a book, and I don't think that was the author's intention here. Maybe it's just because I know the type of trouble adults can get into in such sticky situations (which I won't be spoiling here) and it is the type of trouble new adults (18, 19) might not recognize they're stumbling into because they still see a 15- or 16-year-old as a peer and not a minor.  And while there's a happy ending here, it felt a little... too happy. Things don't usually work out so well, especially in a country as lawsuit-happy as the USA--and a country that has such a bad child advocacy system, too.	Seriously Anxious
There are a lot of confusing feelings between Molly and Traylor--are they just friends or are they something more? Could they be something more? Do they want to be something more? Molly and Traylor dance around these feelings the whole book, and that's a bit frustrating. Especially after scenes where it feels like something significant has changed, like they've talked through a particular roadblock, only for them to end up back where they were before they talked in just a few pages. I kept thinking we had moved on, or we could start to move on, and then that absolutely wasn't the case. We kept having to rehash things, and that was frustrating. Realistic, perhaps. But frustrating.	Really? Still? Again?

Rating

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
9/10

Fans of J.C. Peterson's Lola at Last will love this new wilderness trek of self-discovery. Those who adored getting lost in Cassandra Hartt's The Sea is Salt and So am I will love reckoning with tough questions in this new Bildungsroman.

Details Publisher: Heartdrum Date: September 24, 2024 Series: N/A Add to Goodreads Buy it HERE

Note: I was provided with an ARC by the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions here are my own.