All the Truth I Can Stand / Mason Stokes / Book Review

ALL THE TRUTH I CAN STAND

Ash has never been more alone in the world. Reeling from the loss of his mother, ostracized by his former friends, and not exactly on friendly terms with his remaining family, Ash has nobody. Until his father signs him up to be stage crew for the local college's production of Oklahoma! 

Ash didn't really think he'd find a home in the theatre, but that's exactly what he's found. At least with Jenna and Shane. A student reporter, Jenna knows just how to draw Ash out of his shell, and Shane... Well, how could anyone not be drawn to the talented and magnetic star of the show? Of course, Ash's own inclination toward Shane might be a little bit more than starstruck awe. But it's 1990s Wyoming, and coming out isn't exactly easy. Or safe.

When Shane's brutal murder rocks the community (and the nation), Ash finds himself reeling again. But the Shane he knew might not be the real Shane. And the real Shane might not be a kid the country is ready to embrace, even in the face of tragedy.

THOUGHTS

This book is really hard to read not because it is poorly written but because it is dark. It is brutally dark. But it is also important, rooted in LGBTQ+ history (and recent history at that). It is important because we're not too far removed from this history.

PROS

So Close	This book opens with a shocking, brutal crime report... and attaches a shocking, brutal date. So much has happened since the 1990s in terms of LGBTQ+ rights in the United States (and the world), and yet the 1990s aren't that long ago. With anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment on the rise, with rhetoric getting harsher and harsher, it feels like we could so easily backslide to this brutal place.
Death Rally	There's some really profound commentary in this book about martyrdom and about dead queer teenagers. Because it is easy to rally around a young, dead kid after he's been killed. After he can't change anymore or grow up or do something that turns public opinion against him and ruins the power he holds as a symbol. It is easier for the martyr who brings change to be dead, because more people can support a dead kid in a way they won't support a queer kid while that kid is alive. And this book also reckons with the way we put victims on trial even after they're been murdered. Because we don't want to believe we are capable of killing somebody just because they're queer (or Black or an immigrant or...). It is much easier to find another reason why this kid is dead than to reckon with biases, with power structures--with the complexity of human beings. We'd rather the kid be a drug addict who was killed by his dealer than the victim of a hate crime, because it is so much easier to say, "Well, he shouldn't have been involved in all that." It is easier to blame the victim for his own death. And it is much easier to champion a kid who never grows into an adult.
Father-Son Relationship	This book is full of hard relationships, but I'm glad that the father-son relationship here isn't one. And I'm grateful, too, that this book doesn't lean too far into "acceptance," either. Because Ash has good reason to fear that his father won't accept that he is gay. And his father doesn't really understand. His father doesn't, carte-blanche, accept him. But his father does love Ash. His reservations stem from fear for Ash's future, and he's proud in Ash's ability to admit the truth, to admit who he is, even when it is hard (and potentially deadly). Ash isn't safe, even in his own house, to live out of the closet, but his dad is there to stand beside him. At the very least, his dad is ready and willing to listen.

CONS

Ash might still be in high school, but the kids he hangs out with aren't. They're college students, and while there might not be much of a gap between end of high school and beginning of college age-wise, there's a lot of development that happens there. As a reader, I felt uncomfortable watching Ash insert himself into this college scene without any fear or reservation. These situations start out more or less innocent, but...	Too Old
To some extent, the immediate infatuation here is the point. Ash is enamored with Shane. Ash is inexplicably drawn to Shane. Ash loves Shane without fully knowing him. That's a big part of the story, and yet at the same time, that opens up Shane to be, well, less than a well-rounded character. He feels like the manic pixie dream girl trope, eccentric and quirky and effervescent. And it is hard to get invested in him as a person since, you know, I don't know him. To some extent, this is intentional. And yet, having that insta-love did diminish my reading experience.	Manic Pixie Dream Guy
This book gets into some really dark places, especially when digging into who Shane was and how Shane lived. He was pushed into some harsh and scary places in his life. Drugs and prostitution are a big part of what's going on behind the scenes here, which definitely isn't right for every reader. The language here is also very harsh; slurs are abundant (though unfortunately realistic). The hate crime here is brutal, and the details aren't spared. So this is a book where readers should take care.	Content Warning

Rating

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
8/10

Fans of Benjamin Alire Sáenz's Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe will enjoy this dive into not-so-distant LGBTQ+ life. Those who enjoyed Andrew Joseph White's Compound Fracture will appreciate this look into some harsh queer reality.

Details Publisher: Calkins Creek Date: November 5, 2024 Series: N/A Add to Goodreads Buy it HERE

Note: I was provided with an ARC by the publisher through Edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review. All opinions here are my own.