Augusta Pine Does Not Exist / Emily Lloyd-Jones / Book Review

AUGUSTA PINE DOES NOT EXIST

Three years ago, Augusta Pine died. Or, at least, the girl she used to be before died. Literally. After a hack gone wrong, her heart stopped, and though the hospital got it started again, her life was changed forever.

Because she was in trouble. So, so much trouble.

Rather than spend decades of her life in prison and then have to build a life with a serious criminal record afterwards, Augusta was offered a choice: use her talent for the next decade for the Identity Security Division, a secret branch of the federal government. And it wasn't a hard choice to make. She's been working with them ever since. No home, no family, and few friends: that's how she rolls these days. And even a weekend off can turn into a hostage situation...

THOUGHTS

This book is so fun! It's exactly what YA should be. It's snarky. It's unserious. It's just good fun, and while an older audience could read and enjoy this book, it is obviously meant to appeal to the teen reader much more. And that's what so much of YA is missing in this current, push-it-older market.

PROS

Unserious	At the end of the day, this book is just good fun, and I love that. It doesn't take itself too seriously (while being far from over-the-top ridiculous). It embraces the silly elements of its genre, with snarky incident reports and snappy comebacks galore. And that's exactly what I come to a teen spy thriller hoping to get.
Crazy Competent	I love that Augusta Pine is entirely competent, no matter the situation she's thrown into, and I love that she's not crazily over-competent at the same time. It's a fine line to straddle, between teen-prodigy and eye-roll, you know? But because this book doesn't take itself too seriously, and because the character of Augusta is as endearing as she is cocky, it just works. She came here to do a job. She might not always know how it will pan out, but she's always ready with her next move (and she's also always ready to admit defeat, if it comes to that. Which, you know, is pretty unique in a protagonist like this).
Twists & Turns	Augusta is good at her job, and it is absolutely no thanks to her handlers. She's left in the dark more often than not, an operative trusted to act for the greater good without handholding, and that means this case is as much an investigation as an operation. The twists are real. Augusta doesn't know they're coming, and the fact that she's as much in the dark as the reader is (while being so much more competent in this life-or-death situation than the average reader would be) makes it so, so good.

CONS

As far as narrators go, Augusta herself isn't very serious. She's cocky. She's snarky. She's sarcastic. She's a lot of things adults don't like about dealing with teens, and so I think a lot of adult readers will find she rubs them the wrong way. But at the end of the day, this isn't a book for those older readers, and I think her unserious attitude will appeal a lot more to the actual target demographic.	Teen Tone
This is a book set in the not-so-distant future, but it is distant enough that our present day is akin to the "good old days." This isn't an apocalyptic story of societal collapse. Technology has continued to advance. I wouldn't expect in a few generations for there to be a whole cyberpunk-style technological upgrade. But the tech in this book feels awfully familiar for anyone living in the here and now... If we're still advancing at anything close to the current rate, I'd expect something more than what we get in this book. It's Future Tech, for sure, but it isn't two generations into the future Future Tech, you know? Not without any narrative reason for technological advancement to slow, anyhow.	Stunted?
The worst part about this book? How cleanly it wraps up. By which I mean, there's little room left for a sequel, and this is the kind of book that demands a sequel (because the characters and the world are so fun; not for plot-hole reasons). In the current state of publishing, teens don't get long series, fun or otherwise, except in romantasy. And this book could perfectly suit that purpose, but I know, based on how the author had to wrap it up, there won't be another forthcoming. And that's a real shame.	Cut Off

Rating

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
10/10

Those who adored Ally Carter's I'd Tell You I Love You But Then I'd Have to Kill You will love the fun world of spies and identity theft created in this book. Fans of Ally Carter's Heist Society will like the criminal enterprise that unfolds in this book.

Details Publisher: Balzer + Bray Date: July 7, 2026 Series: N/A Add to Goodreads Buy it HERE

Note: I was provided with an ARC by the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions here are my own.